Dear 'Hey Ho";
Some seven years later, I am discovering this site.
The tributes are stirring and the memories, so special.
We, too, miss you and your gentle and unassuming nature.
I am grateful for the glimpses of you that we and our boys had.
Loving thoughts, forever.
Dad, Linda, Shane and Todd
Heather Leigh Passmore - 网上纪念网站
Heather Passmore
39 years
69648
纪念
| lindacrawford | stepmom | November 21, 2015 |
| Melissa DeBrouwer |
When it comes to HP, there are so many special memories. HP seemed like the "shy quiet type" when I first met her in residence at McMaster. I felt a little bad for her being stuck next door to a couple of loud rowdy types. Pretty soon I realized she had a loud rowdy side of her own. Many times we would find excuses to take a break from studying or to avoid it altogether. We had numerous tea parties on the floor of my room, using a Tetley tea towel as our picnic blanket, drinking tea and sharing treats one of us had bought or brought from home. I love the fact that we could be totally silly together and have great pictures of the two of us with spoons hanging from our noses and other parts. We laughed so hard we had tears streaming down our faces.
Another time Heather's roommate Cathy went on a pub crawl and came home really "happy," and then she passed out. We wasted no time in toilet papering her ½ of the room, giggling like 12 year olds the whole time.
When we were in our third year, we went out with a group of friends to some remote location outside Hamilton where there was supposed to be a haunted house. It was around Hallowe'en. The guy driving, Luca, had no radio in his car, and the drive seemed to be taking forever, so HP and I decided we would provide the entertainment. We proceeded to sing for Luca and the other passenger... "My name is Luca, I live on the 2nd floor..." We went on and on and on, making up our own words, changing the tune, singing song after song. I don't remember what happened when we got to the haunted house. The part that stuck in my memory was the chief entertainment provided by the "The Chicks Who Sing Real Crappy."
We resurrected TCWSRC one day while riding somewhere. It was to "Roam" by the B-52's. Ever since, each time I hear that song, I crank it up, sing really loud, and think of Heather.
When we lived together in Elora while attending Guelph , HP had that HUGE car of hers. As Scott and Dinny reminded me, we called it Chester because the back was the size of and upholstered like a chesterfield. Riding in that tank was always an adventure, especially in winter. The fumes were so bad, we had to drive with the windows open. I swear she had the whole living room in the trunk, just in case Chester got stuck, or stalled or wouldn't start - which happened on occasion. I've never known anyone to be so prepared for a snowstorm or a breakdown. Today, she'd probably shudder at the complete disrespect for the environment that car showed, but wow did it ever have character.
When she was working in Highlands , I drove down to visit her one weekend, and we went mountain biking one afternoon. I think we were the only women on the trail, but there were a lot of guys in bike shorts. We really enjoyed the scenery that day. And giggled a lot. And finished the day with a huge ice cream cone, and a beer while we watched the sunset.
Even her fight with cancer provided us with a few giggles, but most of those aren't fit for a mother to read about!
I think that's what I'll remember best about HP -- how easily we both turned any situation into a reason to be silly and laugh until our eyes watered and our stomachs hurt. It felt so good to be silly. Thank goodness I was always taking pictures back then. I'll treasure them always as reminders of the fantastic friendship we shared.
Over the years, because of her MS, and then the CML and the fact that she was so stubborn and refused to talk about it and dwell on it, I found that each time I saw her, I was always watching HP to try and gauge her health. I noticed a few things: She was very protective of Patrick and Lucas, much more so than I would have expected of her. I guess motherhood does that to you doesn't it? She took whatever opportunities she could to be with Doug and her boys, and enjoy their company and the day. She never wanted to admit when she needed help, but she was always very grateful when it was offered. She had such strength and courage, and a quiet passion for life. She was so beautiful. She's the slowest eater I've ever known!!! She never complained. (I'm trying to learn from that and be a more positive person.) She loved her family and her life in Fort Simpson . She had great respect for nature, native culture, and grizzly bears. She was just special. Love you HP!
| Midge & Mike Carson |
Our Memories of Times with Heather
We have many fond memories of Heather. She loved life and was fun to be with. Mike taught with Neil and we became friends; we often had dinner with Dinny and Neil when the children were young. There was never any squabbling and always a lot of laughter. As Heather grew into a wonderful young adult, we came to appreciate her fine character and many interests; but mostly we think of her love of nature and the outdoors.
One visit to our cottage, an island in Georgian Bay, with Dinny and Neil and Scott, she brought her flute. In the still of the evening she sat on the dock playing, the mellow sounds floating across the water creating a special time for us all.
Another time we drove her down to Fripp Island in South Carolina to visit with Dinny and Neil. We enjoyed her company enormously and all remembered the special sighting when we got up very early the second day, of Hale Bop, the comet which I had seen in Muskoka at 4 a.m. in the mornings out our bedroom window.
Heather came cross-country skiing with Mike and me one day to the MNR trails near Bracebridge. We packed a picnic, and half-way along stopped under a huge evergreen tree for lunch. Suddenly there was a great commotion above us, and out flew a large bird. Heather cried out "Raptor" and we all laughed at the Scientific term, and then looked around us, as we began to wonder if we were sitting too close to an owl's nest and were about to be attacked. Lunch was packed up pretty quickly! Later, at home, while I was preparing some tea and treats, I heard laughter from the living room. Heather was looking at an owl book and had come upon a picture of an owl stretched tall with its "ears" extended. It became the "alert owl" and whenever I see that picture, I smile.
I wish I had pictures to share, and hope that these mental images will convey our delight in knowing your Mother, Patrick and Lucas. She was a very special person.
With Love Midge and Mike
| Debbie Tate Haight |
Heather, my sister too:
You know there is a saying, or belief, that girls tend to marry men like their fathers? Well, from my perspective, my brother Doug married a woman just like his mother. Heather came into our lives at a very tumultuous time for our family, when our mother had just been stolen from us by this horrible monster, cancer. Heather instantly became a part of our family bringing with her a peace that comforted us all and held us together, even through losing our father a year later. Although Heather and our Mom had never met, they shared a quiet, peaceful, patient, gentle, fun-loving and generous spirit. They both suffered much in silence so as not to worry or trouble those around them. They also shared a wicked sense of humour and loved to laugh, especially with their loved ones. I like to think of them now, getting to know each other and laughing together.
I don’t think I ever laughed so much as I did with Heather on our big cross-country adventure in 1999 when we moved her up to Fort Simpson. One of our favourite examples being, after barely pulling ourselves together from uncontrollable fits of exhaustion-induced laughter in a restaurant in Steinbach, Manitoba, walking outside to be told by a passer-by with a heavy drawl that “You couldn’t fit another dollar bill in that car”. Well, we lost it again and have laughed about it ever since! Since we both really liked to sleep in, we ended up doing a lot of night driving to make up time on the trip. This was not appreciated by oncoming traffic who constantly flashed their headlights at us to dim ours because the car was so overloaded even our low-beams pointed upwards into the eyes of all the drivers we met! The only day we did get manage to get on the road in good time was when we had passed over a time zone border in Saskatchewan and didn’t realize it until the next day! More laughter ensued!
We shared a lot on that trip and got to know each other better. For me, one of the best memories of that trip was being mistaken for sisters several times. I couldn’t be more honoured than to call Heather my sister. Discovering that we really had a lot in common, we lamented together about being the eldest sibling and the curse of little brothers (no offence guys!), having January birthdays, working at Canadian Tire as teenagers, and having teachers for parents. But we also shared a love of Biology, loving Doug and the joys of raising little boys.
Family events were always so much fun when Heather was there, whether we were playing with the kids or stuffing marshmallows into our mouths until no one could do anything for laughing so hard. I treasure every moment of our family visit to Fort Simpson last summer and mine the year before. Heather put so much of herself into the community and it was an honour to be there and see how she and her efforts were appreciated by the people there. I only wish I could have done more to make her life easier as things got more difficult with her health.
Everyone has their own special memories and thoughts of Heather to cherish, but I believe that she would say that Patrick & Lucas were her greatest accomplishment. Heather will live on through them, they are her legacy. Now it’s up to all of us to love and support them for her. That’s what families do!
Debbie Tate Haight
| Neil Nimmo |
Friend: a person whom one likes and trusts.
Friendship: a tendency to desire what is best for the other. Honesty in situations where it may be difficult to tell the truth – mutual understanding – sympathy – understanding. A special love.
Heather’s first friend was her Mom. Dinny found Heather easy to love and easy to guide once you jumped the “strunty” bits. Heather got her love of books and reading on her Mother’s knee and like Patrick and Lucas she could recite the books before she could actually read.
Her second friend was her Nana who poured her heart out with love and guidance through her early years. One of the best times for Heather and Scott was when Dinny and Neil went for a spur of the moment trip to Scotland and left Nana with her two special young people. They had a wonderful time fishing, swimming and eating Nana’s chocolate cake.
Her third friend and first baby was Scott. Dinny and Nana lay the foundation for a very special friendship. They carefully and lovingly prepared Heather for the new arrival and she accepted with love and devotion her Scotty. She adored him, taught him and always gave him sound counsel. They were always friends, always close gave each other space and were never ever sharp with each other. The price of this friendship is still evident when he appears at the cottage without toothbrush, toothpaste, sox, swimsuit etc, etc. She was a wonderful little mother and she spoiled him in a nice sort of way.
Heather knowingly and sometimes unknowingly took on her Mother’s attributes and in the process surpassed her. She was stubborn and turned that to her advantage. She was never one to give up or take the easy way, hard work was her way and stubbornness was her strength. She could stamp upstairs and slam the door like a grenadier guard. When she reappeared a short time after all would be forgotten. Stubbornness and determination kept her focused. She knew from a young age what she wanted to do. While at “Mac” in her second or third year, I called her to express my concern about her social life. Her reply was classic, no shouting, no, mind your own business, she made me feel like the child, but not as a put down but rather, “Neil I’m going to bring you up to speed”. I have always remembered her reply and I applaud her for it. “Neil”, she said, “I will never let anything interfere with my education.” In the movie this is where the butterfly emerges from the chrysalis, stretches her wings and flies off in search of flowers and adventure, a lovely scene.
Heather was shy as a child and Scott’s task was that of the ice-breaker. He had to locate the next set of friends. This was a recurring event as we slowly made our way to Banff and Jasper, leaving bathing suits, towels and socks etc along the stopping and camping sites. My feeling was he was leaving a trail to get back home, at this time he was claiming he was adopted. It never took very long for Scott to accomplish this feat,(unlike his dishwashing skills), and his sister would disappear to join Scott with all shyness forgotten.
After an extended time on Pelee chasing snakes, diving on snakes, shaking them out of trees creating hibernacula, plucking pheasants, helping at Papa Lee’s bed and breakfast, running the local museum, working on signage for bird watchers and naturalists and having way too much fun cycling all over the island with her best buds Jackie and Ben. The money ran out and it was time to move on. It was a special time, Jackie, Ben and Heather had all been at Geulph together and were good friends before Pelee. They worked hard and played like pre-teens, Dinny and I always enjoyed all the stories and antics. We liked visiting often; they were fun to be around.
After Pelee we took Heather down to Atlanta to stay with her Uncle Win, the intent was to find suitable work. Dinny and I stayed and became dog walkers and cooks. It was a lovely time of the year, early spring and Atlanta we found to be a big sprawling beautiful city. Heather adapted very quickly and would chauffer us around, she was very competent and confident on the six and eight lane highways were the speed was a seventy miles per hour minimum. Heather spent her free time with her cousin Chase helping him with his homework, she had a patience I had not observed before, and she was an excellent teacher. We came home, got nicely settled when we were called back because Heather had found a job at Highland N.C. We celebrated Spring many times that year. By the last trip North the dogwood blossoms had progressed almost to the Canadian border. From Atlanta we went to Pelee and loaded up the truck and then on to Detroit. At Detroit she spent a grueling two hours with the immigration officers who were not at all keen to let her pass. She would explain the job description and they would say we have lots of Americans to fill that position. She kept adding other fields of study to her job description till finally she was accepted. When she got back to the truck she said in a growl “get me out of here fast,” I have never ever seen her so upset, angry to the point of spitting bullets. We sped off down the super highways of Detroit and Dinny and I never said a word till we were on the outskirts of Highland (just kidding). Highland sits five thousand feet above sea level, someone said it rains around four every afternoon, almost like Camelot. We arrived in Highland early afternoon and spent time poking around the main street. It was spectacular, a large boulevard probably thirty to forty feet wide ran the length of the country stores, the place had a quiet peaceful atmosphere. I noticed a posting in the general store that they were having a pot-luck at the Church. I voiced my enthusiasm for a real meal but Heather wanted no part of church society, Dinny and I put our stomachs together and outvoted the obstinate biologist, a fairly rare occurrence. While in line, which was the hard part for Heather, we had to introduce ourselves as it became quite obvious we were strangers. ”Well”, they said “This is HEATHER, we have been waiting for your arrival.” (Heather’s name and picture had been in the local paper the previous week). What a great welcome and what a great meal. Next morning at ten to nine we got the bum’s rush. A farewell kiss and a very big shoo to be on our way. I have to admit I was a little miffed, but then you have to remember this was Heather and she couldn’t wait to get her next big adventure underway. Heather had a wonderful summer and fall at Highland. She met all sorts of new friends as the valley and museum had a summer research program. And just to make it absolutely perfect she had visits from Jackie and Melissa. Dr Bruce who ran the station was quite impressed with his young Canadian and extended her tour well into the fall. She visited the local schools with among other things a frog with an extended tongue and a supply of flies to challenge his dietatary skills. They were all a big hit and Heather was having fun.
Back in Ontario Heather found employment at the Toronto Zoo, she was the Backyard Frog lady. Marg Gray inherited her Father’s Crown Victoria at this time and had a small white Tempo in pristine condition she wished to sell. I thought it would be an excellent car for Heather but when I approached Marg she was reluctant to sell to a friend, “It might breakdown, Neil” Heather showed the same enthusiasm as Marg, “I don’t want that car, Neil.” Of course I was working under a handicap, I wasn’t aware that she was starting to drive a small black truck. I called Eddie Greenspan for advice, convinced Marg she had a great car, and convinced Heather she had the best deal in the city. That car was so full when it left for Fort Simpson with all Heather’s gear and Debbie as co-pilot, someone said “You couldn’t get one more dollar bill in that thing.”
Heather had a wealth of treasures, unlike most folk her treasures were friends. She thrived on friendship; she put no demands or rules on being a friend. She accepted you as she found you and would share herself, her stories and her joys with you.
Her greatest love and greatest friend was Doug. They glowed together; they investigated the natural world together, a perfect match. Heather said “I don’t want to know who they are till they are here.” Touching her belly was special. Watching Doug and Heather start on the parenting path was a revelation, full of science, note taking, wonder and tons of love interspersed with diaper changes and keeping mummy full and hydrated. We all got turns to cuddle and love Lucas and Patrick, what a privilege what a treat.
Her going has created a huge void, something I can’t understand. But, this I do know, she will be counting on all her friends to give Doug, Lucas and Patrick as much help as possible, now and into distant future. She would wish us to guard her treasures, to keep them safe from harm and to nurture them to wholeness and well being.
When she was fading she asked Doug who all the people were around her bed. “They are your friends and they love you.” “Tell them I love them all.”
She was special; I was always in awe of Heather. She was stoic, she was brave, she had a fine intelligence, she was funny, she knew how to laugh and to have fun. She was kind and giving and if you can call her friend you have a grand treasure and are most fortunate. She loved you all.
Friendship is a pure love.
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